I need help with my boyfriend!?

Okay so my boyfriend just left to go to Bangladeshies where the purple monkey's with green stripes throw poop at the Native Americans which ends up killing us and Jared and Wanda are there too at Pichicho Peak. So I think he is having an affair with the green haired hazelnut governtment cats of the Native American Gangster that ate off his weinus! Yes, his weinus. Alright anyways, he told me he was going here but i looked on the map and there was no such thing as this place!!! What to do!!??!!?? PLEASE HELP!