How do I believe that there is a purpose to life?

I'm 21 and a part of me is a extremely nihilistic and basically thinks there is no point to life. We live and then die...what we do in between doesn't even matter. This is kind of comforting in a way, because if it all doesn't matter, then that gives us freedom to do whatever we want. Another part of me is not happy with my nihilism, and does want to find meaning and purpose in life. A part of me doesn't care if I work some clerical job for the rest of my life..and that's it. And then a part of me what's to do great things. How do I reconcile my nihilism?